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Archives for June 1, 2020

How to Talk to Your Kids About Divorce

June 1, 2020 //  by Bo Knows Divorce//  Leave a Comment

Divorce is a complicated and emotional time. No matter what feelings you have toward your former spouse, you want what’s best for your kids. How you talk to them about the divorce plays an important part in helping them cope with it.

Begin talking to your children about two to three weeks before your separation, and do your best to break the news gently. Here are some tips for smoothly communicating your divorce to your child:

Talk to your children as a couple, if possible, and try to do so without getting angry with each other. This can convey a unified sense of caring to the child, and help them feel more comfortable with the idea.

Set up a time to talk on the weekend, when you will be with your child for a length of time after the talk. You want to make sure there is time for them to think things through a bit, and come back to talk with you more, share their thoughts and feelings, and ask any questions they have.

Tell your children’s teachers about the divorce the day before you tell your kids, and ask that they be discreet until you have the talk. This helps prepare the teachers for any changes in behavior.

Keep the messaging focused. Repeat certain statements during the conversation and bring them up again in subsequent talks. Emphasize to the kids that the decision to divorce was made after a lot of thought and discussion, and that it has nothing to do with them.

Make sure the children understand that it’s OK for them to continue loving each parent fully, without fear of betraying anyone. You may also need to reassure them that your love for the child hasn’t changed in any way, and will not change in the future.

Talk to them about feelings and reassure them that experiencing a lot of different emotions — sadness, anger, worry, and uncertainty — is normal. Encourage them to talk about their feelings, but never badger them to talk if they don’t want to.

Emphasize that everyone is still a family, but things are changing. Reassure the children that they will still see both parents regularly, even though one is moving away.Explain the plan. Who will stay in the house and who is moving and where? Talk about the schedule for seeing both parents, and how you might handle holidays and special events. Allow them to be part of this discussion.

After you talk to your kids about the changes that are happening, be prepared for any kind of reaction, and take the time to help them work thorough it. Let them know that you and your spouse are there for them. However, never force kids to talk about their emotions until they’re ready.

By speaking to your kids openly and honestly about your divorce and all the emotions around these big changes, you’re creating a safe space for them to deal with their feelings about these changes.

And if you need the advice of a family attorney, give us a call at (505) 830-6563!

Category: Custody, Divorce DebunkedTag: Custody, Divorce, Divorce Debunked

When Mediation Fails

June 1, 2020 //  by Bo Knows Divorce//  Leave a Comment

Mediation is a technique for resolving disputes in which a trained mediator sits down with both parties to a conflict and tries to help those parties work out a deal. During a divorce, many people first choose mediation to try and resolve their issues. More often than not, mediation works well, and both sides can come to an agreement. 

There are many myths about what mediation can and can’t do for you. Here are some important things to understand about the mediation process. 

Mediators are trained to help people resolve their issues and settle their differences themselves — but, mediators can’t force people to agree to anything.

Mediators don’t take sides. They are supposed to be independent and neutral, to help guide the parties towards finding solutions for resolving their differences.

Mediators have no authority to decide any issues of the case or force you or your spouse to do anything.

Mediation only works when both parties willingly participate and cooperate with the process. You have to be honest and open, and disclose your income, expenses, assets, and liabilities. A mediator can’t help you divide up your assets, or figure out if you can both still live comfortably after the divorce, if you both aren’t honest about your finances and circumstances. Mediation requires cooperation.

Mediation can be a great solution for helping resolve your differences, and create a more flexible agreement than one handed down by a court. It also helps cut down on costs associated with taking your case to court.

But mediation isn’t for everyone, and it often fails because the parties can’t come to an agreement. In many cases, especially where there’s a custody dispute, you will need the expertise of an attorney.   

If you’ve attempted mediation, and it hasn’t worked out for you, give us a call at (505) 830-6563!

Category: Uncategorized

Will Troubles?

June 1, 2020 //  by Bo Knows Divorce//  Leave a Comment

A probate dispute can be a difficult time, especially because family relationships can sometimes end up on the rocks when a will is involved. It can also be an emotional and complicated process to navigate, and you need someone with knowledge and experience to help you resolve the situation. 

Careful research, planning, and attention to detail, are crucial in resolving any issue associated with a will. Whether you’re creating your own will, or handling a loved one’s estate, hiring an experienced probate attorney to help you ensures that everything is in order.  Our attorneys are experienced in helping navigate the process from start to finish.  

Getting your property and assets in order before you die can help minimize disputes between family members. Involving an attorney in the planning and drafting of a will means that, when a loved one dies, the probate attorney will ensure that his or her wishes are carried out as intended.  

Our attorneys can help with any aspect of your probate case, including estate planning and valuation, living wills, will drafting, asset distribution, tax and debt payment, and more. We understand how delicate the situation can be and we work diligently with you to help achieve your goals in this situation. 

And if you need the advice of an attorney for a probate issue, give us a call at (505) 830-6563!

Category: ProbateTag: Probate

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What can't I say about Sean and his team? I found out my son wasn't mine and while the situation was extremely difficult on everyone involved, Sean stayed focused on what was best for me and the child after finding out the real father wanted to be present. He assisted my family and myself in removing me from the birth certificate and making sure everything was done correctly. I called his assistant a lot and they never once turned me down or made me feel bad for calling so much. I was always informed and they kept in contact. I will be returning if I ever need legal services in the future. I highly recommend Sean. He is friendly and professional and makes you feel completely comfortable, even through the uncertainty of the pandemic.
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